Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Obstacles overcome

I did it. As of yesterday, I have succesfully (I think) used several pieces of gym equipment in front of God and everyone, including a bunch of jocks. Dave's inadvertent tip that there are pictures on the machines illustrating their use was particularly helpful. It was not as awkward as I thought, and I did not get any wedgies -- atomic or otherwise -- from any of my fellow gym patrons.

Wearing proper clothes was essential. I had to actually buy some white socks from the American Apparel next to my office; prior to yesterday morning, I had approximately 25 unique socks but not a single pair per se, by which I mean any two socks of the same approximate color, pattern, and length. This is normally not a problem since I always wear pants and rarely show both ankles at once so only the keenest of observers would notice that my socks don't match. But think about that: I had 25 unique socks, and only one of them was white. That's kind of amazing.

Anyway, I rode the bike thing again to make up for not riding this morning (it was raining). Then I did exercises I don't know the names of on three machines that I could not identify. I know that my arms and chest were exercised, though, since as I type this it feels like I couldn't lift a kitten over my head. I was using the lowest possible weight on all of them. This is the point that I wish certain aspects of my life could be like an 80's movie, because -- having overcome my fear of the gym and initial foibles -- there would definitely be a montage here, showing the retainer pin going in successively higher and higher weights until the end of the song, when I would be ready to ski the K2, beat the jocks in the talent contest, or do the Triple Lindy.

Okay, I'm going to shut up about it now.


  1. My favorite part of the DD montage was always when her shoes turned from the lamo tennies into the awesome high-heeled sparkly shoes like knocked-up Penny! I remember cheering with my cousins when that happened in the movie. Hurray Shoes!

    Hon, you already wear the sparkly high-heeled shoes IN MY HEART.

  2. Well done. Your next task is to become emotionally attached to particular pieces of equipment and to begin to loath people who hog said pieces of equipment.