Mention the hole punch again

If another undergraduate or Mustafa asks me another question about the fucking three hole punch in the computer lab, I swear I'm going to lose it.  I'm buying a new one today.  I would consider this bad boy -- it looks heavy enough to beat an undergrad to death -- but I'm afraid it's "impractical" and perhaps "dangerous."

But seriously, what year is it?  1957?  Who uses a hole punch?  What is this, the battlestar Galactica?  Are people in my lab printing out stat charts for their little league teams?  I'm going to make this proclamation: if you are a college student in 2009 and you're still using three ring binders, you suck.*  If you need to keep papers, use a folder.  If you need more papers than that -- well, you just don't.  Use a computer.  Unless you get a job in the merchant marine or something, you will probably not use a three-ring binder once you've graduated.

In other news, work is still ridiculously busy and I haven't been to the gym in like a week.  I will not be a "January person" though, as I paid in advance for my gym membership through May.  That money will be avenged.  I will become a Greek god of a man.

Also, I'm working on a unified theory of UGGs.  Have you noticed that they come in many different heights?  I believe there is a social heirarchy in effect among the undergrads, and one can determine their relative status by the height and woolyness of their UGGs.  I hypothesize that Mukluks-wearers belong to a different tribe altogether, and that their status is primarily indicated by the presence and furriness of their Eskimo-style coats.**

* Having said that, I'm going to find out that somebody I know uses three-ring binders and has very good reasons, blah blah blah.  Sorry in advance.

** Don't worry, I'm not really going to write on this.

UPDATE: Since posting this, a student has actually left an Eskimo-style coat in the lab!  I may be able to infiltrate their group yet!  Also, Nick J. speculates in the comments about which Greek god I might be referring to.  Ideally, I would retain the gastronomic habits of Bacchus, but would somehow develop the body of, say, Poseidon.