Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Mention the hole punch again

If another undergraduate or Mustafa asks me another question about the fucking three hole punch in the computer lab, I swear I'm going to lose it.  I'm buying a new one today.  I would consider this bad boy -- it looks heavy enough to beat an undergrad to death -- but I'm afraid it's "impractical" and perhaps "dangerous."

But seriously, what year is it?  1957?  Who uses a hole punch?  What is this, the battlestar Galactica?  Are people in my lab printing out stat charts for their little league teams?  I'm going to make this proclamation: if you are a college student in 2009 and you're still using three ring binders, you suck.*  If you need to keep papers, use a folder.  If you need more papers than that -- well, you just don't.  Use a computer.  Unless you get a job in the merchant marine or something, you will probably not use a three-ring binder once you've graduated.

In other news, work is still ridiculously busy and I haven't been to the gym in like a week.  I will not be a "January person" though, as I paid in advance for my gym membership through May.  That money will be avenged.  I will become a Greek god of a man.

Also, I'm working on a unified theory of UGGs.  Have you noticed that they come in many different heights?  I believe there is a social heirarchy in effect among the undergrads, and one can determine their relative status by the height and woolyness of their UGGs.  I hypothesize that Mukluks-wearers belong to a different tribe altogether, and that their status is primarily indicated by the presence and furriness of their Eskimo-style coats.**

* Having said that, I'm going to find out that somebody I know uses three-ring binders and has very good reasons, blah blah blah.  Sorry in advance.

** Don't worry, I'm not really going to write on this.

UPDATE: Since posting this, a student has actually left an Eskimo-style coat in the lab!  I may be able to infiltrate their group yet!  Also, Nick J. speculates in the comments about which Greek god I might be referring to.  Ideally, I would retain the gastronomic habits of Bacchus, but would somehow develop the body of, say, Poseidon.


  1. Excuse me? Is the lab open?

    Can I use the corner-cut-off machine? I have to get these FTL read outs to the Admiral.

  2. Bacchus was a Greek god, and just look at him! Fat, drunk, and threw the best parties. So was Vulcan. He was ugly, crippled, but got the hot ladies.

    Is this not the usage of "Greek god" that you were going for?

  3. Three hole punches are great for triceps, delts and, if you really get into it, lats.