Thursday, April 16, 2009

The beginning of the end

I stumbled upon a sign of the impending end of civilization yesterday morning, in the form of an empty "beer" can that looked something like this:


In case you can't read that, it says "Budweiser and Clamato."

The existence of Clamato has often been considered a sign of the beginning of the end: the unholy miscegination of tomato juice (a vile creation in itself) with FUCKING CLAM JUICE is interpreted by some as the "man of lawlessness" of 2 Thessalonians 2 whose revelation is being restrained by an unnamed entity.  It is now clear that that restraining force has been removed, as Anheuser-Busch has revealed the identity of the anthropos tes anomias by combining it with their abominable brew.  Soon it will "[exalt] itself above every so-called god or object of worship, so that [it] takes [its] seat in the temple of God, declaring [itself] to be God" and the Day of the Lord may arrive.

Personally I'm stoked.  Although Paul says that "the Lord Jesus will destroy" the anthropos tes anomias "with the breath of his mouth," it's kind of hard to imagine breath more powerful than the combination of American lager, clam juice, and tomato juice.

3 comments:

  1. yeah.. officially disgusting. as is any Bloody Mary Mix that has clam juice in it (i point at you Trader Joes)... totally unnecessary pollution of an otherwise fine beverage.

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  2. Wren, on watching the clamato video: "It's crazy! It makes me have to go potty!"

    Then she ran to the bathroom.

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  3. OK, I'll admit it. I have had this before and yes it tasted like chemicals. I did not make the purchase but was overcome by curiosity.

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