Friday, May 1, 2009

Fashion angers and confuses me

Before I begin, I need to say two things.  

First, I need to say that both of Craig's comments on my last post made me laugh aloud (I believe the kids call that "LALing.")

Second, I need to tell you that I'm currently wearing cargo shorts with black socks and tennis shoes.  For the first time I can recall in my married life, my wife said, "you can't wear that to work," as I left the house.  I explained to her that there are certain relaxed standards for fashion applied to IT staff.  Also I couldn't find any clean pants.  This to say I don't know shit about fashion, and if you are looking for an informed opinion about fashion and style, you should go elsewhere.

Moving forward.  As I mentioned the other day, I recently found this excellent website dedicated to making fun of the physical appearances of hipsters (and apparently their cats).  The site has opened my eyes to the depths of terrible terrible style out there in hipsterland and makes me feel a lot better about myself -- all while demeaning others.  After reading the site for a few weeks, I found it hard to believe that it really represented either mainstream or cutting-edge hipster style, so yesterday I took a look at a few fashion-type blogs and was shocked at some of the clothes being presented as blogworthy.  Here are a few specimens:

(From Facehunter.)  I first encountered the 80's style revival when Baby and I went to Paris seven years ago.  I thought "thank God this will never catch on in America."  When it did, years later, I thought "well thank God early 90's fashion will never come back."  Looking at Blossom up there, though, I'm forced to acknowledge that the 90's are back.  I think I'm just going to embrace it.  From now on I'm taking all my style cues from this video.  At least the boring-ass style of the late 90's will never come back.

Oh shit.  Okay, this just pisses me off.  Anybody who has shopped in thrift stores for a while knows that these clothes have been readily available in great lots for a long time.  This is the stuff you're supposed to PASS BY because it looks STUPID.  When I look at that girl I'm forced to recall listening my high school ladyfriends prattle on about Fresia body lotion, Friends, and Ross King.  (Hell yeah I mentioned Ross King.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, substitute Jackopierce or Caedmon's Call.  If you still don't know what I'm talking about, consider yourself very lucky.)

No.  No, no, no.  Not allowed.  This cannot come back.  Stop it.

This is okay with me, actually.  This can come back.  I will get a kick out of seeing people wear this for a few years, even if that dude looks like he's about to walk down those stairs and get graped.


  1. well he's a terrible actor...

  2. The first two girls are hot, so whatever hot people wear comes back into style.
    The guy can choke on it.